It is a shame when people remind us

our kindness, while we know

how we really are.

God protects us.

God covers our disgraces.

unknown

Earlier today I had a long talk about things--how they are going--with a close friend of mine. We talked about our plans, our hopes and the topic went on until we decided to bring up the past. Sometimes it is nice to remember how everything happened. All the reasons and how good they are as lessons.

I believe that each and everyone of us went through something, we battled something, we experienced gut wrenching things. And that's why we have our own battle scars. Some of us proudly show it to let the world see how brave they were. It's like a mark of their will on important act they touched.

On the other hand, for some reason, some of us choose not to show it. They cover it up, they went to laser-surgery to remove it permanently, leaving no mark anyway at all.

And I am one of those people to cover up my scar.

The hardest point when I have chosen to hide the scar that is too deep and very painful, is when somebody tried to take a look at it. She might think that it is just a scar. But for me, to actually show it, it brought back memories of the battle I went through. That scar--that one exact memory... to see it again, to talk about it, to open up the box I've closed tightly for a long time was far too agonizing than I could ever imagine. I couldn't even think about it. No.

She tried and tried and tried, but really, God, do I wish I could tell her why.

But the past is the past. It remains there with or without our powers. It happened. It occurred somewhere between our lives. No matter how awful, we still have to admit that it happened. Anyway, everything's coming back to ourselves whether to share or not to share. 

Spreading good vibes,

Sarita Ayas