It's horrible. I suck. Big time. I said I wouldn't let things like this rain on my parade but guess what now? My parade's dead flooded. There's only one thing that heals me at this very moment. Writing. One out of many things that I find therapeutic. So here I am, writing to someone, and this might as well be my last post ever to you. I don't know what's going on, I once really wanted to but I guess, it's pointless to even think about it. You said you lost your trust on me. Very well.

You know what, it's easy to know if a writer's put their heart on you.

Whether they love you, or they hate you, you'll see it clearly if they write about you.

And if they have the balls, they'll let you read what they write about you, even they will write to you.

You've been the source of inspiration behind some writing of mine, I think I should credit you on that.

But this time, by this writing, I am letting you know that this post could be the last ever to be written by me to you.

To show you how much I miss you and wish that we could have ended up better than where we are now.

To tell you that everything I did with you or everything I did for you are not mine to regret. Never going to be.

It was all worth a shot, somehow.

To let you see that you have no idea how much I would want to give up to be with you, but I guess it was just a fairy tale to have it all come true.

I wish calling you my best friend would remain longer. But it seems that you wouldn't let me label you as my best friend anymore, eh?

If love is something for us to gain, I believe that trust is something for us to earn.

I earned your trust... once.

I know you aren't going to tell me where did I harm you. Ever.

All I know is that you simply do not trust me anymore. I don't know why, since you refused to tell me.

But if this is what it takes to see you forever, then I don't mind.

I don't mind at all.

Some say people hold onto things they believe in.
I hold onto you, tightly.

But you?
You held onto me.

Just like what you write, "Que sera sera."

I am not going to force things to happen anymore.

Just like before, I'll be somewhere happy as long as you're happy.

:)

Sarita Ayas