Selamat jam tiga pagi dari Jakarta, dan jam tujuh pagi dari suatu tempat sejauh 3.415 mil jauhnya dan harus terbang selama tujuh jam dari Cengkareng, Sydney. Hmmm, entah mesti mulai nulisnya gimana, I have so many emotions yang menumpuk jadi satu. But I think I know what should I begin with.

The Airport.

Gue inget, dulu waktu masih SD pernah nganterin seorang saudara ke bandara karena dia mau ngelanjutin studi ke luar negeri. I went with my grandparents and the first thing that I did when I got in the departure point was texting my mom. "Ini Ayas cuma nganterin ya, Bun? Coba tiket pesawatnya ada dua supaya Ayas bisa ikut. Atau nggak usah ada yang pergi aja. Masa belom berangkat, baru masuk tempat check in, udah berasa kangen? Sedih." Something quite like that, dan gue ga tau itu pikiran anak SD macam mana. Airport holds both love and hate at the same time. To reunite or to separate, for better or for worse. And to finish January, I sent off a friend, a very dear friend of mine.

Nisaoyy.

How many years now, since we were in grade 8? Like, five years? Five years since I started to get to know her even closer, back in 2011. My dear, does time fly. Jadi, saudara-saudara, Nisa ini adalah teman dekatnya teman dekat gue, terus kita jadi teman dekat dan mereka mendekatkan gue dengan teman-teman dekat mereka. I still remember it very clearly, how I first recognized her name. "Oh, ini anak yang tiap Jumat keliling sekolah bawa-bawa kamera? Niat juga ya dia, bawa banyak lensa sama batre cadangan. Kayaknya ini anak seru deh. Oh, dia juga abis student exchange ke Sydney? Gokil. I like her." And that's it. Hanya sebatas itu, entah kenapa waktu kelas satu belom kenal aja sama Nisa. Terus pas kelas dua, baru deh mulai sering ngobrol-ngobrol, kadang istirahat bareng, kadang gue main ke kelasnya berhubung sahabat gue, Dinar (yang yu-no-mi-so-wel banget) sekelas sama Nisa. Dan gue sok kenal gitu main ke Nisa juga.

Kemudian, thanks to whoever that invented this technology of instant messaging called Line, gue sama Nisa jadi makin sering cerita-cerita. Dua topik yang kita obrolin terbanyak adalah tentang impian-impian berpetualang dan masa depan. Yea rite, some came true, some are still in the making. Tenang aja, we're both getting there. Makin ke sini, makin gede, makin banyak kesibukan masing-masing, makin jarang ketemu, but we still count on each other. Sekalinya ketemu, kayak kebuka aja gitu tutup botolnya. Semuanya diceritain, semuanya dibahas, semuanya diketawain.

Sejak masuk SMA, Nisa di mata gue masih gitu-gitu aja, in a good way. She changes, but she doesn't really change. Bingung ya? Sama. Nisa ketemu banyak orang baru (banyak dalam arti yang sebenarnya). But what I like is that orang-orang itu punya mutual interest dengan Nisa dan mereka bisa menyalurkan hobi mereka bersama-sama. Hobi berpetualang. Berpetualang atau gak pulang? Kidding!

Regardless the fact that she met a lot of new people, she stays low. Gue juga seneng banget dipertemukan sama manusia ajaib macam Nisaoyy karena dia adalah tipe orang yang happy-go-lucky. Apaan sih, senang-jadi-beruntung? Apa ya, pokoknya she always sees the best in things, ambil sisi baiknya aja, bersenang-senang, bikin kenangan yang enak diinget mumpung masih bisa. Termasuk tiba-tiba jalan ke Jungleland pagi-pagi setelah sarapan nasi uduk Blok M, pertengahan Mei 2013. Saking berjiwa petualangnya, gue dibawa Nisa ke amusement park di Sentul yang bahkan waktu kita nyampe sana, tempatnya belom bener-bener jadi.

...ok. But that was totally fun. Semenyenangkan itu, meski gue masih kesel kalo inget betapa pusingnya gue abis main this ride yang kita dinaikin ke pesawat-pesawatan yang berotasi dan berevolusi pada porosnya.

I'm laughing as I type this, FYI. Main sama Nisa tuh seperti diberi kesempatan beberapa jam buat mengesampingkan segala masalah, bersenang-senang, dan kembali sadar kalo masih ada masalah yang harus diselesaikan. Bukannya main buat lari dari tanggung jawab.

Tentang masa depan? For Nisa, it's been planned ever since I met her, and it feels like we set this time bomb and we didn't know how long it would take for the bomb to explode. She didn't know, and neither was I, but we knew that the time is running out somewhere. Sampai akhirnya gue mulai melihat Nisa pelan-pelan merealisasikan masa depannya. Akhir 2015, gue menerima Line dari Nisa, isinya IELTS result-nya dia. Jam lima pagi waktu itu, gue bangun dan gue sadar bom waktunya udah meledak. She was officially going.

Gue pikir masih lama gitu ya perginya, mungkin di pertengahan tahun. Tapi ternyata tanggal 1 Februari kelasnya Nisa udah mulai. Di TAFE, Sydney. Eh, woi, itu TAFE kebanggaan lo, ga bisa buka kelas di Cinere aja apa, Nis? Supaya ga perlu jauh-jauh amat ke Sydney.

I sent her off just yesterday. Nisa yang weekend sebelumnya masih main ke rumah di tengah malam, sama Dinar, untuk berkeluh kesah dan menertawakan hidup, ini tadi baru landing di Sydney. Cinere aja dong Nis, Sydney kan jauh banget. Berat. Gue sampe harus bawa comfort food gue, Makaroni Ngehe, ke bandara supaya ga keringet dingin ngeliat Nisa pamit terus jalan ngelewatin pintu menuju meja check-in. But I knew I had to release her.

And this one's for you, Nisaoyy.

You'll be facing your new reality within hours. You'll be making your new home out of a new place, new routine, new people, new everything. But here back in J Town, everything will stay the same, and we miss you already. As much as I hate to see you leave, I'm still super proud of you, Nisaoyy. I know you'll survive and you'll be making it out alive.

The new life, college life, it will surprise you in any way, I do hope you enjoy whatever it brings. Can't wait for texts, pictures and postcards all the way from 'Stralia. I'm very excited about you, yet I wish you knew how emotional I am as I type this blogpost.

I still hate to realize that you're going. You know how much I dislike distance, Nis. But it's your dream that we're talking about. The dream that has been yours since day one, and I'm never ever going to hold you back. Go. Run for it. Chase it. Make the best of it. (((Dan gue berharap lo masih di Cinere aja please tolong ini kenapa gue begini)))

Good luck with everything, Nisaoyy.
I'll see you when I see you, and bon voyage!

All the love,
Sarita Ayas